I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
