I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
