I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
