so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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