the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
