I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
