i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
