Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize