I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
