That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
