I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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