I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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