i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
