is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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