As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
