Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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