i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
