stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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