I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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