At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize