thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
