I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
