Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
