get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
