When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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