I'm pants shitting drunk right now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
