I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
