she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
