I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I need water and some morals
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
