barbara walters just said penis...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
