return my video game
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
