Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
