I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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