i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I didn't notice because vodka
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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