I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
