yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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