I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I want a musical about memes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize