She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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