Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
