I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
