Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
