Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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