you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
