i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
