I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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