my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
