and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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