Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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