im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
