This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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