Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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