I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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