she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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