at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize