very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
