She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize