He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't deserve a penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
