This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
either way he was missing a nipple.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
